Lacrimosa Dies Illa

The Reverend Michael Wagner passed to God in the early morning hours of May 2, 2018. Since then, we’ve been caught in the whirlwind of planning and work, with hardly a moment to take it all in.

On the night of his death, our parishes came together to chant Solemn Vespers from the Office for the Dead. Rev. Nicholas Wichert, our former pastor, graciously came down to lead us in the liturgy.

We had a full choir in the sanctuary from both Holy Rosary and Visitation parishes, led by our amazing choir director, Victoria Solenberger. Father Wagner’s biretta remained upon the low altar throughout.

It was heartbreakingly beautiful.

Many of those there told me it was cathartic.

Since I was M.C. for the liturgy, I didn’t really have the chance to experience that catharsis, to properly mourn my pastor and my friend.

Last night, however, at the nearby parish of Saint Joseph, Rev. Caleb Insco, FSSP, offered a sung Requiem Mass for Father.

Francine and I went, and it was the first time I had a chance to properly mourn in the context of the sacred liturgy, which offers us a terrible glimpse of God’s judgment, but also the consoling sure knowledge of God’s infinite mercy.

It was the choir singing the Dies Irae that finally broke me down.

Father’s funeral is at our parish of Holy Rosary this coming Wednesday. We expect three bishops and perhaps fifty priests. Not to mention a standing-room-only congregation of mourners. It has fallen to me to help prepare for the coming funeral liturgy, so again I will be quite busy.

This is one of the ways I deal with grief or stress – I do things. But I am immensely grateful for those moments when I can simply pray.