Twenty Years Catholic
Twenty years ago today, on the night of the 26th of March 2005, I was baptized into the Church at the great Vigil of Easter. It’s odd to think that my baptism is now the midpoint of my spiritual journey thus far. Ten years ago, I shared some reflections of the tenth anniversary of my baptism. Last year, I shared similar reflections on the anniversary of the day Francine and I first walked into Saint Patrick Catholic Church. I don’t intend to repeat those thoughts here, nor will I provide a summation of my life over the twenty years I’ve been a Christian.
Instead, since we are deep in the heart of Lent, I will share this passage from the Desert Fathers, which for many years now has been one of my favourites.
Abba Lot went to see Abba Joseph and said to him, “Abba, as far as I can I say my little office, I fast a little, I pray and meditate, I live in peace and as far as I can, I purify my thoughts. What else can I do?”
Then the old man stood up and stretched his hands towards heaven. His fingers became like ten lamps of fire and he said to him, “If you will, you can become all flame”.
(Sayings of the Desert Fathers, Abba Joseph of Panephysis)
I very much identify with Abba Lot. There’s a quantum shift – a transfiguration, if you will – that I must pass through before I can share the divine life in the way that Abba Joseph did.
Perhaps that moment will come as late as the liminal space between this world and the next. Perhaps that moment will happen today. Who knows? I leave it in God’s hands.
In the meantime, as far as I can, I say my little office, I fast a little, I pray and meditate, I live in peace, and as far as I can, I purify my thoughts. I live in gratitude to our loving God that He judges in mercy rather than in strict justice over what I deserve.
